Crashing Ships in the Night
by Jayfiend
Summary: Stiles calls Derek's bluff. Stiles/Derek


**CRASHING SHIPS IN THE NIGHT**

**Summary: **Stiles calls Derek's bluff.

**Rating: **NC-17

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters and I do not intend to make a profit off this story. The characters described within belong to their respective creators.

**Note:** Title is a lyric from the Queens of the Stone Age song "I Sat by The Ocean"

"If you don't help me, I'm gonna rip your stomach out," Derek snarled. His fangs came out and his claws curled on the back of my chair. His eyes glowed bright red in the darkness behind me. A few years ago this would have been intimidating. Now it was just another night with Derek. I knew it had been a mistake not to change the lock on my window.

It had been a long night already. I had a physics final the next day and for once I hadn't had any distractions that prevented me from studying. After finishing most of the practice questions I was exhausted. And so I wasn't as patient as I usually was. I turned the chair around and bared my chest. "You know what? Just do it. I'm sick of you threatening me." He froze. I waited a beat and then poked him in the chest. "I'm not gonna be around for much longer anyway."

He stepped back. "What do you mean you won't be around?"

"I'm going to college out of state. Full scholarship. I couldn't really refuse." I hadn't told anyone except my dad and Scott. I wasn't really planning on telling anyone else unless it was absolutely necessary. I certainly hadn't planned on telling him. Derek looked like someone had stabbed him in the chest. "I didn't think you even wanted me around anyway."

There was a brief flicker of something before he closed himself off. "I don't. Scott does."

"I'm just the computer guy, right?" He shrugged. I spun the chair back around to face my computer. "Y'know I've saved your life more times than I can count. I think you could show a little more appreciation."

"I do appreciate it Stiles." He sounded weary.

I refused to turn around and look at him. I started searching for more formulas to put into my graphing calculator. "Then you could act like it a little more."

"I don't because I don't want to get comfortable with it. I might get tempted to do things I wouldn't ordinarily do."

That was interesting enough to turn back to face him. His hand was over his eyes. For once he wasn't standing with an aggressive posture. He was leaning against the window pane and looked like he was considering jumping out. "Things like what?"

I could barely hear him whisper: "Kiss you." A spark of fear crossed his eyes but was soon gone.

That was a surprise. While I had always had a long-buried secret desire to see what he was like on a more intimate level I never dared hope he felt the same. Especially when I still had vain hopes that Lydia would eventually forget about Jackson and turn to me, and he only had to smile to turn heads. "And why would you want to kiss me?"

"You wouldn't use it against me." Derek bit at his lip and stared off into the distance. I wondered who would use a kiss against someone. Then I thought about how little I actually knew about Derek. "You always seem like you know what you're doing. I never do." His shoulders slumped.

"Nothing about my rugged good looks?" I asked, frowning. He looked stricken, like he'd made a giant mistake. "Nah, it's okay." My laughter echoed in the room. His arms were still crossed in front of his chest.

"I guess I realized it a while ago, you're always there when I need you." Something that might have been a smile passed over Derek's lips."I don't have that many people that I can say that about. That's more attractive to me than looks. It feels good to have you on my side. Sometimes I wish we were closer but I didn't think you'd be interested." He crossed his arms tighter as a barrier against anything that I could say. Something in my chest felt different, it was as if everything was fluttering around. Nobody had ever said that they liked me, even in such a roundabout way. He had closed off again and I knew I wasn't going to get him to say anything else.

"I'm flattered that you trust me that much." I pushed my chair back and walked over to where he was standing. My fingers found his hand and held it gently. "Do you want me to kiss you?" I asked. Never in a million years did I think I would be here about to kiss Derek Hale, who used to scare me shitless.

He nodded. I thought he might have acted first and kissed me, but he was passive and let me do most of the work. It was easier to take things slow because I really had no idea what I was doing. Movies made it seem a whole lot easier than it actually was. I took a deep breath and went for it.

Derek's mouth was closed and his lips didn't give much when I met them with mine. He hadn't shaved and so his stubble grated against my cheeks. Eventually he yielded and opened his mouth. Our tongues met and that was almost a shock of electricity straight through my body. I grabbed onto his arms and pulled him closer. His hands settled on my waist. It was unbelievable how hot he was, his skin burned wherever it touched mine. We kissed as if we were drowning in each other.

Derek seemed really intent on not doing anything unless I gave him permission. And that made sense except it meant that I had to take the lead in something I'd never done before. It took a moment to get his shirt up enough that I could place my hands on his chest. That made him shudder and his hands clenched on my back. Once I had enough leverage I tried to guide him over to the bed. It took him a minute to understand but he followed me.

There wasn't really enough room on my twin bed for both of us but we made it work. It felt like there wasn't enough oxygen in the room. After each kiss I gasped for air. He was breathing hard too and barely seemed able to keep control. His hands went underneath my shirt and ran up my chest. I shuddered into him. I let my hands go to his chest and then lower, settling around the waistband of his jeans.

He put a hand on top of mine and pulled away slightly. "Are you sure?" When I looked at his eyes they were unfocused and hazy, red dancing around his pupils.

I licked at his neck before kissing him on the lips again. "Yes." I moved my hand down and started to undo his belt. He let me. His cock was hard and hot beneath my touch. I moved again and he pulled his hands away from me. "What's wrong?"

Derek looked almost shocked. He held his hands up. His claws had come out. When our eyes met again his flashed completely red for a moment before he swallowed. They settled back to green. "That's never happened before," he whispered.

"It's fine. Just be careful." Without really thinking I took one of his fingers in my mouth and sucked. The claw was sharp and definitely dangerous but I tongued around it gently. His eyes rolled shut and he moaned. "I knew you couldn't hurt me," I said after I let it slide out of my mouth.

"It makes things difficult," his voice was strained. Derek's control was shredding beneath my touch. He sucked at my pulse. His fangs had come out too and so they added a pinching sensation along with the sucking. It twinned the pleasure and pain making it spiral through my body. I almost lost it right then, my control wasn't as well developed. My grip tightened on his cock when he bit down a little too hard. It was painful but I managed to keep on stroking. I could feel him palming my cock through my jeans. I knew he wouldn't do more right now, couldn't do more.

Derek was teetering on the edge. He had stopped kissing me and his eyes were completely red. Maybe that should have stopped me or saved me but I knew that no matter what he wouldn't hurt me on purpose.

I ran a finger up the underside of his cock and then jerked it a few more times. Derek came, his orgasm a snarl against my shoulder. His breath came out like sobs. I could feel his claws against my cock but they didn't tighten. It took him a moment to get control of himself and I could feel his claws disappearing. Once they were completely gone, his hand was inside my pants. It was my turn to lose control.

For a moment it was easy to lose myself in the heat of his body pressed against mine. His strokes almost matched my heartbeat. Everything built up to a climax and then spilled over. I moaned against his throat, my arms pulling him closer.

Eventually we wound up all tangled together, trying not to take up too much space on the small bed. Derek shifted slightly and almost fell off. "Sorry my bed's not bigger."

"It's fine. I'm used to worse." He was completely wiped out. His eyes would barely stay open. I let him curl up beside me. It didn't seem like he got uninterrupted sleep much. Even after he drifted off to sleep, I felt like he was anticipating something bad happening.

* * *

Derek was getting dressed when I woke up the next morning. I had the feeling he would have left without waking me. "So you're leaving then?"

He had opened the window and was halfway out. His eyes were closed and he refused to even turn his face in my direction. "If I stayed I'd get too comfortable."

"Is that so bad?"

"For you? Maybe not. For me? Yes."

One step out the window and he was gone.

* * *

Scott noticed something was wrong the next day. "You smell different. Did you do anything last night?"

With Scott the direct answer was always best. "I had sex with Derek." I closed my locker.

He had gone pale and was mumbling to himself. "You had sex with him?" Something wasn't connecting for him.

"It . . . it just kind of happened. One minute he was talking about ripping my head off-the next we were kissing." His eyes got wider. I hit him in the shoulder. "Dude, it's not illegal and you know I had a huge crush on him!"

"And he knows you're going out of state for college?"

"I think that might have been why he let me do it. A last chance sort of thing."

"You won't change your mind?" Scott had been lobbying for me to go to school somewhere closer, somewhere where we could hang out on weekends and go home if things went to hell. While my heart longed for that comfort, I knew it wouldn't work. Scott was the kind of person who stayed, the kind of person who found what he was looking for and was happy with it. He wouldn't leave Beacon Hills as long as everyone he cared about was here.

"I want to at least try it." I sighed and shifted my backpack. "Sometimes you have to leave in order to appreciate what you have, you know?" It was a shock that I was parroting the words of my dad, who told me I should go, that he'd be all right and my mom would have wanted it that way.

He slammed his locker shut. "Well, you'll just be a phone call away anyway," he said finally.

"I'm always here for you Scott. I just need a break."

He touched my shoulder. "I'm glad for you Stiles, I really am. Somehow you managed to keep your grades up and get accepted to a better college than me. I don't want to hold you back."

"You never could."

* * *

Derek and I avoided each other. There were plenty of opportunities where we could have talked but he and I both found ways to leave before there was any chance to be alone together. I could see him drawing further into himself, possibly reserving all the energy he knew he'd need once we were gone.

I forced myself to act like I didn't notice. Scott and I tried to finish up our school work and protect things when we were needed.

After a particularly violent battle between Derek's pack and another I found myself alone with Derek in his apartment. His shirt was ripped to shreds, there was a long gash on his leg, and the wounds seemed like they were taking longer than usual to heal. He was bent over into himself and I don't think he had enough energy to care that I was there.

I had cut myself sometime in the middle of things and busied myself trying to wrap it with gauze. Before I knew it, he was sitting next to me watching my every move. "Is it bad?" he asked.

"No, it's just a scratch. Are you okay?" I touched his chest where the worst of it had been.

There was a brief smile that soon disappeared. "I've had worse. This is almost healed." His hand settled over mine on his chest. I could feel his heart beating strong and firm.

"You know I haven't really had a chance to talk to you since that night." I started. He pulled his hand away. "I wanted to make sure that things were okay between us."

"I don't really want to have this conversation," he said, starting to walk away. His leg gave way and he sank to his knees. I gave him a little space before going to him.

"Are you going to be okay if I leave?" I asked. Derek had his eyes closed. "You seem like you're mad at me." I expected him to glower or glare at me but he just looked tired.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm just waiting for things to go to hell again."

"Why?"

"Because they always do any time I have sex with someone. My house burns down, Laura gets killed, Peter comes back . . . "

"I know it seems like that but that's a bunch of coincidences. Nothing really bad has happened to me so far, has it?"

"No. I worry about it a lot though." And he looked like he had been. There were dark circles under his eyes and a hollowness in his cheeks that hadn't been there before. I wanted him to be able to live his life without wondering what new torture he was going to go through. That didn't seem likely with the company he was forced to keep.

"Is that why you've been avoiding me? You know I can take care of myself right?" I forced him to look at me. "Nothing's going to happen. And if it does it's not your fault." His lips were closed when we kissed, but he started to relax as it deepened. We kissed for a minute and then I pulled back. His eyes were closed. They opened at the loss of contact.

"You really want this? With me?" When he asked he didn't sound like the confident Alpha that he kept on acting like he was. He sounded like me when I got a scrap of attention from Lydia.

"Of course."

* * *

Derek was impossibly tight. And it seemed like with each thrust he only got tighter, even with lube. I had him pressed beneath me, his claws scrabbling for purchase in the sheets. My fingers dug into his hips so hard that it would have left marks on anyone else.

He was slowly coming unwound. When we had started, he had been in completely control. With each thrust he pushed back against me just as hard, low moans tearing out of his throat. His body burned beneath me as his back rose up to meet my chest.

I was getting so close I almost came right then but I wanted to see him, wanted to watch him come. So I pulled out. Derek practically started crying in loss. "W . . . why?" he whimpered.

It took a few moments to catch my breath. "I want to see you." He dragged his hands down to try to support himself. I kissed along his shoulder blades and on each point of his triskelion. Derek shuddered and his skin broke out in goose bumps. It took a moment to rearrange ourselves. It was so easy to get lost in the kisses I spread all over his chest. He tried to return them as best he could but he was too far gone. I could feel his cock between us. It was hard and dripping precum.

His legs moved to either side of me and slowly slid up my side to pull me closer. I knew how much it had to hurt to keep this much control and avoid slipping over into orgasm. It must have been like trying to stop the change on a full moon. Even now he was shaking with the effort, his body twitching to keep itself under control. "P. . . please," he hissed. I could feel his claws grasping my back lightly as he tried to keep from tearing me apart.

I smiled and kissed him. While I explored his mouth with my tongue, I pulled his legs up and got ready to thrust inside him again. Derek's fangs were starting to come out and I ran over them with my tongue. I could feel him start to tense up. He wouldn't last much longer.

I was no better. Though I was older now and supposedly had more stamina it was a struggle to maintain control. It was surprising I had been able to keep hold of myself this long. My finger fumbled for his entrance before guiding my cock into him. He groaned. I could feel his hands clasped together on my back pulling me down into him. I buried my head against his neck and pushed into him. We settled into a rhythm that steadily built toward a mutual climax.

Derek's harsh breaths burned against the side of my head. I could barely breathe myself. All of my senses were focused on him. The way his eyes had closed and his head had fallen back the way his claws felt digging into his hands on my back, the lingering taste of his sweat on my tongue as I licked at his neck.

My hand went and encircled his cock. His grip on my back grew stronger and he moved one of his legs to push me in deeper. He came, biting back whatever noise he might have made. We were so close it didn't take too long before I came.

I closed my eyes and let the sensations run through me. When I opened them again, Derek was staring at me with a faraway look in his eyes and a faint smile on his face. For a brief moment all the tension in his body left. These moments were rare so I decided to savor what I could. I kissed him again. The fangs were still there. He kissed back before pulling his hands away from my back. The claws were still out. They had dug into his hands when he had been holding onto me, and they left half moons of blood. As I watched, the wounds slowly started to heal. "Are you okay? That looks like it hurt."

Derek rubbed at them until they healed. "Sorry, sometimes I lose control." His claws slowly withdrew.

"It's okay. I like to see you like this." I rested my head on his shoulder. "You're under so much control all the time. I want to make you lose it more often." He was still breathing heavily and somewhat dazed. When I tried to get up to get something to clean us up, he held onto my hand until I stepped away.

When I came back, he accepted the washcloth gratefully and cleaned himself up. Once we were both clean, I got back in bed with him. It felt almost natural for both of us to wind up lying on our sides facing each other. As I watched him, I could see the tension and stress slowly take over his face and closing it off. I wanted to stop that. I thought I had stopped that, ripping away his bravado and leaving only the vulnerable Derek. It was probably too much to expect that one night of sex would break down barriers that he had built up over years. This moment was enough.

* * *

It didn't happen again before I left. We were on better terms but that didn't mean that Derek felt comfortable enough about me to let himself lose control again. I think he was also waiting for something horrible to happen. Thankfully nothing did. Nobody seemed to notice the tension between us and at times seemed so oblivious to it that I wondered if it was even there at all. Scott never asked about it.

* * *

My dad was right. I did need to leave in order to see what Beacon Hills was really like.

I had come back for a brief visit between the semesters and had been too busy catching up with everyone else to see but once I came back for a few months in the summer it became apparent. Everything seemed smaller. All of the familiar places Scott and I had hung out didn't have the same scale. All of the kids in high-school seemed so young.

In high school Beacon Hills had seemed like it was the whole world and that the events that happened here had world-changing ramifications. At college if I said I was from Beacon Hills I got either blank stares or questions about the random murders. No one cared about what happened there, even the other werewolves that I met. They didn't believe that we'd dealt with a kanima or that there had been a pack of alphas. And even if they did they certainly didn't think it merited more than a few bored questions. I let myself wallow in anonymity.

Scott was still Scott. He was doing well in school, he was still dating Allison, and it didn't matter to him that he'd barely ever left the city limits. When I met up with him, he was full of stories where he was the hero fighting against the random creatures that seemed attracted to the woods. When he told the stories he barely mentioned anyone else, though I knew that he would have had to have assistance to deal with half of the things he talked about.

"So how's Derek?" I asked after we'd caught up as much as we were probably going to. A shadow crossed over his face but he covered it up with one of the smiles he used when he was lying.

"He's fine, I guess. I don't really see him much. He's still living in the loft he got when you were still here. Isaac says he's okay." That was a surprise, I didn't remember Scott and Isaac being close, but anything could happen.

* * *

Derek's apartment building looked like it was going to fall into the ground at any moment. It had probably been a bad idea to go there at night, when it looked even more industrial and severe in the dark. I could hear the buzzing of the street lamps as they flickered in the night. He didn't have a nameplate by the buzzers so I hoped I pressed the right button. There was enough of a delay that I figured he wasn't there and started to walk away. Then I heard the door unlock.

"Shit." I had been building this up in my mind so much I almost didn't want to meet him. In fact I'd been prepared to find him not there and just go home to hang out with my dad for a while. I took a deep breath and headed inside.

Rot had settled in the wooden walls and there was a fine coating of black mold on the ceiling. The stairs were metal so I could at least be sure that those wouldn't collapse beneath my weight. For a moment I let myself wonder why he never could live somewhere comfortable, why it always had to be abandoned train stations and burnt down houses. I think I had settled on it being an odd kind of atonement for what had happened to his family by the time I reached his door.

I knocked. There was a minute of waiting where I could almost sense a presence on the other side but they didn't open the door.

And when he did open the door, I had to stop myself from gasping. The Derek that stood before me now was different than the Derek I had left behind. The battles he'd had to lead against other werewolves must have started to take their toll because he looked like he'd aged about ten years since I'd been gone. There wasn't as much care taken with his hair and clothing, he hadn't shaved recently, and his shirt just hung off of him. His eyes still had a guarded look and he wouldn't look at me directly. I could see his nostrils flare so he must have been trying to see if I had the scent of anyone else lingering on my clothes.

"Hey." I said, waving at him. There was a brief flicker of amusement before he stepped aside and let me come in. They hadn't done much to the loft since the last time I saw it. The walls were still a ramshackle mess and there was an unintentional open floor plan where the living room intersected with his bedroom. Isaac was there sitting on the couch reading a textbook with a few open notebooks strewn about on the floor. At one look from Derek he gathered all of his stuff up and left, giving me a small wave. I felt really uncomfortable. "Is this a bad time?"

"No, it's fine." Derek gestured to the couch. "I didn't know you were coming back for the summer." There was a kind of sad acceptance to his voice.

"I didn't really know myself until I slept through summer registration. All the classes I wanted to take filled up. There's always next year. This way I get to save some money." The lies came out without me thinking about it. The plan had always been to come back for the summer, but now that I was here I didn't know why I'd come. My dad was doing fine and had said I didn't need to stay if I had something better to do. I could have taken a road trip or studied abroad if I really wanted. Something had drawn me back. "Anyway, how are you?"

"I'm fine. Did Scott tell you what's been going on?" Derek sat down in a chair across the room. He couldn't have been further away from me had he tried. There was a restrained air about him as if he wanted to show more emotion but couldn't.

My hands wouldn't stop fidgeting. I could barely look at him. "Yeah. It sounds like you've had a lot of problems since I've been gone. Scott acts like he's got it all figured out though."

"He's got his werewolf side pretty much under control. I'm impressed. Isaac's doing well with it but he still has things he needs help with." He leaned forward in the chair. "Did you want anything to drink?"

"No, that's fine." I took a chance and looked at him. There was a haunted look in his expression as he stared back. "Are you sure you're okay? You seem kind of . . . off."

"A lot happened since you left." If I wanted any elaboration I would have to do all the prying. "Nothing happened to you at college, did it?"

"No. I did meet some werewolves but they had never heard of Beacon Hills. They seemed really normal, considering." His hands had a death grip on the arms of his chair. I thought I knew what he was apprehensive about. "I did make a few friends but nobody that's really as close as the people I know here."

"I was never really able to make friends when I was gone," he admitted. "And then when I came back there wasn't time to catch up with the ones that I'd left behind. Everyone else had kept on living their lives and I was just an unpleasant memory." I was shocked. He never, ever spoke about anything that had happened when he was in New York with his sister.

"I think I know what you mean. Everything here just feels smaller somehow. And all the things that I thought I knew are different. Scott and I are still friends but he's so busy it's hard to stay close with him." Derek had a pained look on his face.

"Try and put the effort in. You're going to need each other," he whispered.

I couldn't deal with this anymore. I stood up and walked over to him. "Don't you need me too? I never heard from you when I was gone and I know I gave you my e-mail address. And you have my cell number." He let me put my hand on his face. That fierce heat was still there.

"I didn't want to be a distraction."

"You wouldn't have been. It would have been nice to hear from you every once in a while." I leaned over and kissed him. "Especially when I felt alone." He tipped his head back and I sucked at his neck. It was a surprise when he reached up and pulled me down onto his lap. "Were you lonely too?"

"Yes," he growled, seizing my lips in a kiss. "I tried to find someone else but it never worked out." That was hardly a surprise considering how most of his personal relationships went. I could hardly begrudge him wanting to find someone to keep away the loneliness.

"Well I'm here now. We can be lonely together."

* * *

When he took off his shirt I was struck speechless. There were scars all over his chest and back. They ranged from claw to bite marks, and some of them were deep. He noticed me staring and started to grab his shirt to put back on. I stopped him. "No, it's okay. What happened? I thought you could heal."

"Maybe I could have if I had been fighting regular werewolves." I traced over the line of one of the worst of them. It almost felt like plastic. He shuddered. "Deaton fixed me up as best he could but I wasn't taking care of myself then and I couldn't heal as well as I should have. They're getting better." His hand gently took mine and moved it.

"I always thought you were invincible." I remembered how he had always seemed to come and save us right when we needed him. He had jumped in front of the bullets and claws of the people that wanted to hurt us.

Derek snorted. "And yet I was always the one getting hurt." He turned to me and pulled off my shirt. "Let's stop talking about it." Then he backed me over onto the bed. I let him push me over and pulled him on top of me.

Then a horrible thought came to me. "Isaac's not going to be coming back tonight, is he?" My overactive imagination conjured up Isaac walking in at the worst possible moment.

He laughed. "No. I think he got the hint."

We helped each other off with the rest of our clothes and then settled down on the bed to explore each others bodies. His tattoo had escaped unscathed from the battles he'd had to fight. I traced it with a finger. When he kissed my neck again, I could feel the lingering pressure of his fangs. I closed my eyes and let him lick and suck all over my body. And that feeling of floating and being on the precipice of something greater was still the same. I hadn't had sex with anyone since I'd been with him and my body was way too into the feeling of his skin on mine. My cock was getting harder than it had been in a while. He was getting excited too, I could feel his cock brush against mine and it was so hard not to lose control right then.

When I opened my eyes and looked up at his they were tinged with red again. As his hands stroked over my chest I could feel his claws starting to grow. "I love to watch you like this," I panted. A blush spread over his face. I grabbed his cock and stroked it roughly until he moaned in desperation.

He gestured toward the night stand. "There's lube and condoms in there. I can't . . . " I nodded. There was no way I was letting him fuck me if he was like this. He didn't seem to care what happened as long as it felt good. It took a moment for us to shift positions enough to where I could reach his supplies. My hands were shaking as I dug around and found a condom and the tube of lube. It had been so long since I'd done this and even though the last time had been with him I wanted it to be good for both of us.

We shifted until Derek was on his stomach facing away from me. I squirted a generous amount of lube into my hand and let it warm for a moment before tracing around his entrance. He pushed back against my finger as I slowly pushed it inside him. If anything he was hotter inside. I tried to stretch him as much as I could before inserting another finger. That was enough leverage to let me hit his prostate. A low moan tore out of his throat and his claws tore at the sheets. The third finger went in easily and I worked at stretching him out until I felt that he was ready. I certainly was. It was hard to resist the urge to just plunge into him unprepared. He most likely wouldn't have minded.

Finally I thought it was time. Derek's whole body followed my fingers as I pulled them out. It took me a moment of fumbling to put on the condom. I kissed the top of his triskelion tattoo and then pushed into him. We both cried out at the same time. He was as tight as I had remembered and it was a vice grip on my cock. It took him a moment to relax enough so that I could actually push in far enough to hit his prostate. We settled into an unsteady rhythm, neither of us was patient enough to try to draw this out. I knew I wasn't hitting his prostate with each thrust so I reached around and started to stroke his cock. He began to crumble down into himself and give himself over to the sensation of in and out.

I was in a torment of my own. This could never last as long as I wanted it to, but I tried to maintain some semblance of an erection so that we could both get off. It didn't last for long. He came first, his entrance twitching and drawing me down with him. I sank down on top of him. The only sound in the room was our ragged breathing. Finally he moved out from underneath me and rolled onto the other side of the bed. His eyes still glowed red in the darkness. I busied myself cleaning up. He probably just needed time to calm down.

When I got back to the bed, he was staring at the ceiling. I laid down next to him close enough to touch but not touching. "When do you leave again?" he asked. I'd noticed that he never seemed to expect people to stay or things to stay the same. He was always bracing for the next impact.

"I'm not sure when the semester starts up again, but I'll probably go back at the end of August." I took a chance and threaded my fingers in with his. He let me.

"Do you like it there?" Here was where I had to tread carefully.

"It's different. You could come visit me if you wanted." I wasn't sure how my roommate would react, but it didn't matter.

"I'd like that."


End file.
